Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
