woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
