jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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