He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
