I'm jealous of your bromance
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
