this beer tastes like vomit already
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
