I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just found puke in my bra..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
