So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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