That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
