Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
