I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
