a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
