where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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