while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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