how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
