is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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