he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
