OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
