My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
