I'm lost and stupid without you.
I can text with my tongue
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
