if i can run in heels then i can drive
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
