would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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