do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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