i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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