Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize