so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
