I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
