Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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