I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
