Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
