i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize