I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
