so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
