I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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