Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
