names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
