Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
