it was like his penis was on wheels.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
