Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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