Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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