atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
