actually, I'm a sock model
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
