As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize