your room smells of hookers.
And success
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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