Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize