You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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