I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My liver just had a heart attack.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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