why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i out mim tonsoeep
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
