i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
