I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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