I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
