a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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