we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
