Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Floor bacon is actually really good
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
