I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
