i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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