My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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