It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
