I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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